the flowers are in bloom + so am i

i am reading mary oliver, new things 

and it is spring again. 

i am in a desert by a beach 

as always, 

but now i am building myself a garden -

not metaphorically, though also yes, 

always this…

but truly a garden!

to walk through and eat food from, 

made with my own two hands and the help of those i love. 

it is mostly dirt now, but

my anxieties and emotions are being transmuted by sweat + sun + dreams 

into something real and invigorating. 

this morning I saw the beginnings of a bell pepper, 

the yellow flowers of my heirloom tomato,

a curling vine from the cucumber plant, and

another new marigold bloom, half unfurled, one golden petal at a time.  

slowly, but surely, i am feeling my garden grow. 

it is spring again and i am still eating vegemite, 

but i am finding awe in the wildness of my own backyard, 

staying in one place for the first time in a long time.