orange

i am sitting, staring at my new favorite tree:

the channel islands tree poppy is pouring out with color 

this summer is orange. 

i am falling more in love with color 

my pursuit of living a beautiful life, ever evolving 

but if this summer is orange, it is because: 

my friends, we are pouring into each other 

we are flowing in our dance that is, if nothing else, constant + mirroring 

meeting + leaving…but never forever. 

it is because of fallen oranges on the ground,

summer heat ripening the juices back to earth 

sticky sweet fingers picking the seeds out of my teeth.  

it is for seeing beauty in all of it

even the growing pains of another season, 

remembering that constant can sometimes mean forgetting 

i am not entitled to forever. 

this summer is for feeling chewed up 

and spit back out 

splayed open + laid bare

but the middle part is warm and disorienting. 

and sometimes i do not like myself. 

i am seeing orange but being blue 

i am the aircon fluid spilling out in the driveway

wet spots left behind on cement + cheeks 

burned orange by another summer heat wave.