art show debut
On Saturday, I had the gift of sharing my writing for the first time, beyond the confines of this archival website, at an art show in San Diego, California. My art stood alongside many talented, local artists, most notably and literally next to, my dear friend Lily Lutz. For those who don't know, Lily and I have been friends for at least a decade, maybe closer to two at this point. We played soccer together, went to high school together, ran around town with boys together, and more recently, both upped and moved to Australia where we lived for a year at the same time, but in different spaces. Lily has always + since been a close confidant, friend, role model, and more as our paths continue to interweave together. To share this moment with her, and with all of our dearest friends was surreal. I left with a full heart, and a gratitude that is still lifting me up as I write this. So consider this my official thank you, I love you!
Sharing your art can be a very vulnerable experience, especially when it comes to writing. It is truly a window into the mind, which is a very private place to try and let strangers catch a glimpse into. One of the beautiful consequences of being vulnerable though, is you get to see who is truly in your corner, who makes you feel safe + supported. As the opening night approached, I couldn't help but feel some imposter syndrome. Nervous that I would inconvenience my friends and family to drive out there just to read a short poem and be left wondering why they wasted their Saturday night. Should I warn people it isn't a big deal? Again, I think this is a common feeling among artists. Even when you are proud of yourself, of your work, sharing it with the world opens the door for anxiety and fear to creep in. Like with most things I approach in life, I try to throw myself forward and just let it all happen. Anxiety only serves the purpose of worrying about it twice; it solves for absolutely nothing. In the end, I threw myself forward and did not apologize for celebrating myself. My friends and family made me feel beyond loved. I left with more confidence in myself, in my art, and a sense of belonging in this artist community. Hopefully this is the first of many art shows to come. Whatever it looks like, I just want to keep throwing my artist self out there and seeing what beauty comes of it.
In reflecting on this debut, I can't help but connect all the little moments that led to here. I remember being a young girl, writing in my journals, some with lock + key. Pink glitter gel pens. Song lyrics turned into love letters (no knack for singing sadly). Poetry shared with lovers and subsequently lost forever. Creating this very website four years ago and finally sharing it with a few close friends two years later. Moving to Australia and writing more than I ever have. Last year, doing the Artist's Way and putting my writing out for all of you. To this year, now 26 years old, and submitting myself to an outside source, being accepted, and celebrating myself through the fear. It is beautiful to realize you can be exactly who you want to be in due time. I cannot wait to see where the next 26 years take me, but more so just the next year, and the one after that!
If you want to read the poem that was accepted, it is titled "summer birthday" and speaks to the nostalgia of summer and the grief of constant change, another year older.
Read here:
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